And stupid. And idiotic. And masochistic. Oh so masochistic.
I'm so blissfully happy right now. And content that the world could end and I probably would be okay with it. It's so wrong how a person can be so influential in your state of happiness. But when you love someone you run the risk of getting hurt in exchange for all the wonderful feelings they give. Safe, secure, content, warm and happy.
I don't know what goes through his mind sometimes. And his timing is utterly awful. But yesterday evening to today has been somewhat hard to believe. My mind know it's so illogical and unwise to do so but my heart is just so strong. I guess having dealt with being dumped twice already means I could probably handle a third one if it happens right?
Even seeing this typed out in words sounds so fucking stupid. But he makes me so happy that I can't help but think it's worth it. I'm such a sucker.
If he blows it this time, I don't think he'll be able to salvage it. Not even our friendship. I hope he knows that.
I've had way too much distractions over the past two days. I've done a fairly small amount of revision for my exam tomorrow. Luckily it's at 2.30pm so I still have time and it's an exam on the module of experiments we've done over the last term so hopefully it'll be easy-ish to remember because I'm a good kinetic learner? Let's hope so. It's not proving to be ghastly so far so fingers crossed. I'm dreading revision for my exams on Wednesday and Friday though, they're the ones I've been revising for over the Christmas holidays and involves writing two essays as well as MCQs. Now THEY'RE going to be ghastly.
I like that word. Ghastly. It's so posh that it sounds like I'm taking the piss of posh people. Haha.
Wish me luck guys. I think there's a long night of revision ahead...