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Friday, 28 January 2011

I'm no superman.

I don't want to be. I mean, who wants to prance around saving the world in a red and blue lycra suit? For one, it's tacky and two, I'd prefer to be a little more discreet. More catwoman's costume than superman's.

But if I could have one super power I'd choose to be able to split myself into infinite versions of myself. It would make life so much easier. I'd be able to get so much work done whilst getting enough sleep, getting enough money AND getting enough partying in. I'd also be able to be with more than one guy. Not in a polygamous sense or a cheating sense. I wouldn't swap my versions around. Do you ever get that? Been with someone who makes you totally happy safe and everything but still am ridiculously curious about how it would be with another person? I blame it on the fact I'm still only 20. It's not a particularly wise age. I'd hardly say I've settled down.

I know for a fact I like what I have and wouldn't risk it. But I also am a little horrified at the possibility that that's it. I'm never going to be with anyone else. Part of me doesn't mind as such. I want to end up with him anyway. But at the end of the day I don't really have much experience with guys and I know it's not majorly important but I don't want to be one of those people who are in their 40s, and find that they've missed out on what they should've done 20 years ago. Sometimes life is just hard.

He is making me think of all the things I didn't really think I would think of though. It's not me at all. I've never been one of those girls that plan their weddings as a child or even write their names with their crushes surname. I laugh at those type of girls. But if he could see in my head some of the thoughts I've had recently, I'm sure he'd run a mile. I would. Especially when it comes to the children part. I used to want kids. Nowadays, not so much and he's not keen on them either. But when I'm with him I can't help but just think how beautiful our babies are or whatever. It's really creepy. WHO AM I TURNING INTO???

I'm actually horrifying myself. I'm too young to be feeling like this.

On a more realistic note. I'm off to Birmingham in a few hours. Yaaay! And so begins the epic weekend. =] I cannot wait. My bag's are packed, somewhat. My life is somewhat in order. Now all that's left is just to make me feel a bit more in order. Bath time? At 1.30pm? I sure think so.

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